27/02/2019

Reliving Painful Situations...


Reliving pain – one of our most addictive forms of self-abuse. 

I’ve always been a ‘see a situation, sort a situation’ kinda gal. I need to see things through to the end, even when it nearly kills me.

I need answers.

I want closure.

Here’s the thing – when the situation is caused by another person, I never get either.

By reliving the past we believe it’s going to give us an opportunity to do it again, and respond differently. Maybe this time we will understand it better – what happened? Where did it fall down? What did I do wrong? What should I have done differently? Basically, torturing ourselves with the never ending record of “fuck my life”

Another thing we do, when replaying a situation in our own mind isn’t torture enough, is retelling your story to everyone in our life. Initially we may be looking for some form of reassurance that we didn’t do anything wrong or that everything is being okay but not only do we keep the situation alive and kicking by constantly replaying it, we invite the opinions of others, adding new chapters, and new thoughts to obsess over.

Here’s the thing, no amount of reassurance, can change what’s happened. Adding new theories definitely wont.

Living your life around a memory just gives it power to control you.

You can’t find happiness in the same place you lost it and you can’t find it by holding onto a painful story.

Happiness and forgiveness comes, when you take the decision to release the situation, let it go with peace and make room for something better.

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