30/04/2018

Monthly Reflections: Blonde Vs April


What went well?
April was the month of letting go of a lot of fears. Fear of saying goodbye to people that weren’t treating me with the same care I did for them. Fear of hitting the motorways and exploring new parts of the country and the fear of doing it on my own. I embraced my independence fully for the first time in a long time.

What was challenging? 
All of it!!! So many heart racing moments. I also had to take nearly 2 weeks out of training because I literally exhausted myself, all my joints kept swelling, I got migraines, tonsillitis all self-inflicted by not taking any rest breaks through March…. Naughty blonde. So taking that break was difficult for me mentally, but now I’m sat here full of health again it was the right decision.

What did I learn this month? 
That I’m not superwoman. Well I am superwoman but only 5/6 days a week. The 7th I need to rest. I also learnt I’m not as boring as I thought. Having spent 80% of the month spending time completely with myself – I’m actually fairly entertaining, and not at all sane.

What surprised me this month? 
How big my balls are when I need them. So my main fear that holds me back a hella lot is my fear of driving on motorways. When I pulled onto the M40 for the first time on my own – there was a car accident on the hard shoulder. It freaked me out and I considered pulling off at the next junction and turning around, but I didn’t – I completed the journey. When I got there I was so shocked I’d done it and so proud of myself. I already had fear, it was escalated, and I carried on. That surprised me.

Is there anything left over from this month you’d benefit from making peace with? 
I made a lot of peace with things and people this month. I handled a lot of situations with a grace I didn’t have in me before. I said goodbye to some chapters in my life, I opened up some new roads for myself. All in all I’d say I did good on the peace making side of April.



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