17/02/2016

Return Of The MIA Blonde!

Olaaaaa!

Sorry have been a little MIA lately, I’ve had a few personal situations that had to be resolved. Whilst there are some things still to work on.. there always is isn’t there? I feel like I’m in a much better place now and so one has returned!
When my mind is foggy I struggle to write, I’m one of those people that if I have nothing positive to say I mostly choose to say nothing at all. It’s not because I like to portray a fake happy go lucky image or I wouldn’t be writing this now in fact it’s quite the opposite. I like to keep my posts real and true to form, so I tend to clear myself from social media until I have regained my clarity. Just like pictures capture moments and memories, posts on social media do too. I can often look at something I’ve written, or a photo on my Instagram and recall exactly how I felt the moment I published it. So when I’ve worked hard to move past a negative situation in my life there’s simply no point in reliving it later on.. is there?
I’m also not the kind of girl that goes into detail about the deepest parts of her life. There are some elements that I just prefer to keep private so I won’t go into detail about the ‘thing’ I recently went through but I will tell you some of the things I’ve learnt from it:
    • Change can be your best friend or your worst enemy, sometimes both at the same time. It’s okay to fear change, fear isn’t the enemy. My fear of missing out on life and its opportunities is ultimately what gets me out of bed in the morning after all.
    •  Ignorance solves nothing. The amount of times I have tried to ignore my feelings over a situation in hope that it will just ride out on its own. I was almost ashamed to accept that I had reached such a low point in my life. I mean I am blonde ambition, I help people. That’s what I do, I lift, I support, I push people to be the best they can they be. How could I allow myself to be weak? When I then struggled to ignore my emotions and my mind became constantly consumed trying to fight away these negative thoughts to the point I could think of nothing else, my good friend Victoria turned to me and said ‘J, just feel it. Let yourself feel the pain, give yourself that. You need to feel the pain to accept it and move on.’  She was right. That chick always is. ;0)
    • This brings me to my next point  - Friendship – when you hit rock bottom, and you feel like nothing and no one can pull you up, a select few people in your life will show up. These are your diamonds in the rough. Although ultimately only YOU can pick yourself up and live your life. These diamonds help to shine glimmers of light into your darkness. The people that stand by you through your worst, will be the ones that stay by your side for the rest of your life.
    • Chose peace over pride. To get my final closure on the situation, I had to swallow my pride. I had to really open my mind to the full situation from all angles. Understand it, accept it. Only when I did this did I really feel at peace with myself and the situation.
    • Remember who you are. I am a girl who LOVES life. I love the smell of ambition in the morning and I love helping people. I want to make a difference in this world by just being me and I really believe I am capable of doing that. I’m actually really proud of who I am as a person. I know that I would never intentionally hurt or offend anyone. I know I have a fire inside of me that cannot be put out by anyone other than me. I was that person before rock bottom, I’m still that person now. Believing in myself is what pulled me through.
    • I am stronger, than I ever realized. I am thankful for the situations that have knocked me down allowing me to build myself back up.
I really, with all my heart, can’t wait to see what the future holds. I’ll get back to posting more on here. I have so much to talk about, so many ideas to share with you all. As always thank you so much for reading! 2016 is still young, it still has the potential to be one of the best yet! Love, Blonde xox

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